Hi Friends!
The following post offers concrete tools and tips for fostering wellness in your young child! Read below the first concrete tool I will share with you! These tools and tips have been developed through my experiences as a trauma informed therapist with EMDR and child therapy training. Many of these tools were developed to be able to work with children who are not yet proficient in the English language, or not yet able to communicate, thus, they are great for even the youngest of kiddos!
Parenting young children can often be an enormous test in patience, as infants and toddlers experience a variety of unfiltered, raw emotions. As parents, it can be hard to watch, experience and know how to guide these big and heavy expressions. The good news is, we can help our little ones to cope with these feelings and develop healthy skills to deal with a wide range of emotional ups and downs– and we can do it in a way that is fun, engaging and expressive for our kids. Below, I will share a first tool that can help parents to foster emotional wellness, healthy coping skills, and allow their young child to develop as a sense of mastery and capability in dealing with big feelings.
I call this my feelings thermometer!
You can make your own thermometer or subscribe to my mailing list for a free printable with the Inside Out characters! View my demonstration video HERE!
How can you start using a feelings thermometer with your child?
A. Prep work
Discuss the basic emotions with your child and how they feel. Utilize examples, charades and be expressive (Make example faces and body postures, and come up with example scenarios). The questions noted below are helpful. Focus on:
- Mad/Angry
- Sad
- Anxious/Nervous/Worries
- Happiness/Joy
How does it feel when you feel _____? (Praise, and give personal child-friendly example, such as, “Good job! Sometimes when I feel sad I feel like crying.”)
When was a time you felt _______? (Praise, and give personal child-friendly example, such as, “That’s a great example! I felt a little bit worried when I had to get a shot at the doctor.”)
How does it feel inside your body? (Praise, and give personal child-friendly example, such as, “That’s right! Sometimes when I feel sad or worried, I get a belly ache.”)
How can you tell these characters or images are feeling ________? (Praise, and give personal child-friendly example, such as, “Good job! I can tell he is angry because he is making big fists with his hands”)
B. Practice!
Now that you and your child have the same general understanding and language regarding emotion, allow your child to color and decorate their Feelings Thermometer. Red should correlate with anger, blue with sadness and purples with anxiety/worries. You may use clothespins that you move in indication of feelings being small or large (low or high), laminate and use dry erase markers, or make numerous disposable print-offs. (I prefer a laminate with clothespins or dry-erase).
Teach your child to use the thermometer, instructing that the angry red face correlates with the red color clothespin or marker, the sad blue face with the blue indicator, and the scared purple face with the purple indicator. These are uncomfortable feelings, so at the bottom of the thermometer, they are low (small numbers). As these feelings get worse, or bigger, the clothespin or marker drawing will go up the thermometer. They will do each of the 3 yucky feelings each time they do the thermometer.
Why is the Feelings Thermometer helpful?
Language tools with various associations, including drawings or characters, help young children to understand, explore and make connections regarding their various emotions. The feelings thermometer allows for tactile and sensory processing (the moving of the clothespins, or drawing with a dry-erase marker) of their experience while allotting expression to the caregiver (without words, if easiest). The experience also gives your child a sense of control over their emotional experience in being able to demonstrate how “big” or “little” their feelings are.
In all, utilizing the tool allows for both understanding, processing, expression and a sense of being heard and understood.
Practice using the thermometer at random times, or make it into a fun routine to talk about your day. Suggestions include in the morning during breakfast, after school to prompt school discussion, at dinner or before bed. Establish it as a fun, neutral practice so that when prompted during high emotions, your child will effectively be able to utilize the tool.
C. In use:
When your child is upset, agitated, or displaying a need to communicate, ask him or her to use his feelings thermometer. Sit down with your child and ask your child to go through each (sad, angry, worries) and decide how big or small those feelings are. Sit with your child during this and allot for closeness or space if needed. Ideally, you’ll want to try and utilize this tool at the first onset of upset or agitation, or within a new situation that may spark new feelings.
Afterward, praise their use of the tools and emphasize with their feelings. “Great job using the thermometer. I am so sorry you are feeling so much sadness right now–that feels really awful!” or “Wow, you did such a good job!” I am so sorry you are having a little bit of worries right now, it doesn’t feel good to have worries, does it?”
Keep the thermometer accessible, and use it with them as well! Questions? Shoot me a note! Was this helpful! Share with friends!
Stay Tuned for Tool Number 2, coming next on the blog!!
Take a look at my video where I describe how I use this tool. (And forgive how pregnant and winded I am! :))
To receive an email with a free PDF of my clinical plan for Step One and a printable Feelings Thermometer, Subscribe to my email list!
