The “Needs” Cube! Addressing Current Needs and helping our body!
Tool: Needs Cube or Needs Board. Each side has a pre-determined need (can be written out and/or drawn on or symbolized).
The Needs Cube or Board should be used as the third step, after your child has established what their feelings are with the Feelings Thermometer and where they feel them in their body with the Body Map. The next step is determining what we might need to move forward and deal with our feelings.
Having a pre-determined and discussed needs cube or needs board gives your child an ability to make his or her own decisions on what his/her needs may be, while allowing them the experience of seeing and choosing their needs in a concrete, sensory (and less abstract) way.
Additionally, your child will be prepared in understanding various needs that may be helpful for him/her. Your child will know what to expect in terms of what they may need and feel comfort in the predictability of the choices as well as the ability to make the choices for him/herself.
Prep work: Go over the various needs that your family has decided on (Allow your child to be a part of the choices of what needs to include if possible). Discuss with your child. For example, “sometimes when we feel sad, we need a hug or cuddle”, and “sometimes when we feel very angry, we need some alone time in our chill zone”.
In use: Hand your child the cube or board, if necessary, remind him what each side says or use a picture to help. Let your child take his/her time to decide what they might need. Praise your child for deciding which option is best for him/her!
Think about it! As adults, we typically have a mental tool box of various things that help us, and know what most of our needs are. But kiddos don’t necessarily know yet! They rely on their parents and teachers to lead and guide them through emotional terrain. And it can be hard to understand and keep track of these things– especially in states of heightened emotion or upset. A Needs Cube or Board helps children familiarize themselves with different needs and grow comfortable verbalizing and asking for support in having these needs met.
Practice and incorporate tool use and feelings-language into daily routines and activities, including when everyone is feeling great and happy!
Ideally, one wants to prompt a child to try and use the tools before the child becomes highly dysregulated. However, that’s not always possible! 🙂 Utilizing the tools will become easier and more useful with practice. They should not be expressed as punishment or force, but rather encouraged and praised if utilized. As situations occur where a child is unable to use the tools or communicate their feelings until after an upsetting episode, encourage them to talk about it afterword by using the tools.
Have you used or tried the Needs tool? What are your thoughts?!
